Zen Moments

I had a zen moment once while I was showering. These spiritual insights often happen when I’m least expecting them… showering, or driving… just when I let my mind wander and reflect on the nature of things, and on the beauty of that nature. I am chaotic by nature, and can not prescribe when these things happen… I’ve never worked well in an overly rigid format… but if I work intuitively, emotionally, and just let things happen… Well, sometimes amazing things happen…

Anyway, back to the shower… I was relishing in the feel of the water… listening to the wind blow out the window. I started feeling the water… feeling the wind… I started saying to myself, for no particular reason, “I am the water… I am the wind… I am fire… I am earth… I am Goddess… I am…” and so on and so forth until I got stuck at “I am… I am…” and then it hit me… I felt like I was… everything… everywhere…

I felt the raw power of the Universe. I felt like it was at my fingertips… and that if I could just reach out and touch it… I could wield it and harness it… all the power right there… I felt huge… I felt powerful… I felt connected…. But at the same time, I knew the power wasn’t mine. I knew it was there… but I knew *I* couldn’t wield it – not all of it. I knew I was but a small part of the Macrocosm… one small cog in the machine… and I felt very, very small and insignificant… but I knew I was a cog… I *felt* how all things were connected, and I *knew*…

Some people call it gnosis… that feeling of just knowing. You can’t rationalize it… but you can feel it…

It was an amazing feeling… but, like all such things, it passes as the mundane world encroaches. Some people live their whole lives trying to keep that feeling forever… and for awhile, I did too. But I wasn’t living my life… not really… I kept trying to escape it…

Now I’m content to remember… and to live my life. And when things get too hard… I can recall that feeling of being connected… and know…



"Without accepting the fact that everything changes,
we cannot find perfect composure.
But unfortunately, although it is true,
it is difficult for us to accept it.
Because we cannot accept the truth of transience,
we suffer."
~Shunryu Suzuki