'Rediscovery'

Baptized of the Spirit
a pure, perfect faith.
A father God
with flowing robes
long white beard
sitting on a golden throne
hidden in the clouds
surrounded by angels
with their feathered wings
and lyrical harps.
The son
the human divine
who died for our evil souls
with his blue eyes
and beautiful face
white and clean
and perfect.
The ghost
dove of peace
purifying tongues of fire.
We were
Soldiers of Christ
on a misson to heaven
knowing which sins
would lead us to Hell.
Simple rules of engagement
in the battle for the soul
and she believed
in an eye for an eye
that God would protect the good
and smite the evil
with lightening bolts
turning them into
pillars of salt.
And she knew
that she was good.
Praying on rosary beads
to the virgin mother
role model
for women everywhere.
Praying for guidance
to keep her from temptation
to lead the willing lamb
into the flock on unity
of uniformed conformity.

But she learned.

She learned that not all monsters
had red skin
horns and hooves.
That bad things happened
to good people
and God didn't lift
a single almighty finger.
She was left
a shattered soul
with no great promise
no holy purpose
questions where once
there was unshakable faith.
And when these questions
could not be answered
they said Satan
had conquered her soul.
And when she had nothing
left to cling to
they doomed her and sent her
screaming to Hell.
No refuge or solace
or hope for salvation
when the Father abandoned
His once faithful child.

Until she abandoned him.

Finding peace
on the path to hell
pagan, heathen
vile soul.
But she knew
no Mother
could hate her children
they way the Church
hated her.
She believed
the only path to take
was the one
she never saw before.
Too blinded by
the lying lessons
and the glare
of heaven's
impossible perfection.
She found her solace
in the dark
secret places
mysteries
she was once
forbidden to seek.
And in the chaos
of the void
she found a home
a faith
based not on fear
but discovery.