'Disavowal'

Itís just a little sharp
This pain of letting go;
Such a small and simple thing
But the healing may come slow...

I grieve for things that never were,
As I sever fragile binds,
Ones that only ever existed
Within a longing mind...

I had my dreams of might've beens
But I fought against the tide,
And it grew too strong and I was lost,
But still I had my pride...

Too stubborn to admit defeat,
Too blind to realize
The battle I fought could not be won
Because the field was built on lies...

Ever looking outward
For a place to lay my sins,
But now I know, and so I learned
To turn the blade within...

Thru the maze of disillusion
Thru shards of lost ideals,
On a quest to find myself
To discover what is 'real'

But everything is transient
An entropic wonderland,
I wonder why I even bother
When I'll never understand...

But this is the key to who I am
I can not stop it now,
So on I go, or at least I try
In this quest for self-avowal...